Following the recent controversy involving former TV personality Jude Bacalso and a food server who misgendered him, Filipino television personality and LGBTQ+ advocate KaladKaren shared her reaction on Facebook. Bacalso came under fire for allegedly berating the server and making him stand for two hours after being called “sir.”
KaladKaren, whose real name is Jervi Li, took to social media to express her thoughts on the incident, emphasizing the importance of education over humiliation.
“Sometimes, I still get called ‘sir’… but I know how to choose my battles,” KaladKaren wrote. “When this happens, most of the time, I just smile, be the bigger person and let it pass.”
She shared her approach to such situations, often responding with humor or gently correcting the person. “Sometimes I answer in jest, ‘ikaw naman kuya/ate, ang ganda ko naman pong sir’ sabay tawanan kami or sometimes I seriously ask them, ‘kapag nakabihis babae pwede tawagin na lang ng ‘ma’am’ or ‘miss’, if you’re not sure po, pwede sila tanungin.'”
KaladKaren highlighted that most people do not intend to offend and are simply confused. “Oftentimes, people don’t mean to offend you. Nalilito lang talaga sila. Tinawag kang ma’am or sir because they want to show respect. If you don’t agree with how you are addressed, it is up to you to correct it. If you show them respect, respeto din ang ibabalik sa iyo.”
She acknowledged that some individuals might intentionally be disrespectful, which is a different issue altogether. However, she stressed the need for patience and understanding, pointing out that not everyone is fully aware of the correct use of pronouns.
“As members of the community, I believe it is our responsibility to educate others about this. We have to let them understand the importance of using the right pronouns for every SOGIE. But educate properly. People commit mistakes… I do also.”
KaladKaren concluded her post with a call for kindness and empathy. “I believe, being kind makes us empathize more with other people. Let’s love and respect one another.”
